Legal Humor
Sandy Hutchens dug up these lawyer/paralegal jokes. I can already hear the GROAN!
You Can’t Take It Home
An dying man calls his rabbi, his doc and his paralegal to his bed. “Here’s $60,000 for each of you.Put this in my mausoleum when I pass on so I can take my cash along with me.”
At the funeral home, each one puts an envelope in the resting wooden pine. Later, as they’re going away in a limo, the rabbi confesses, “I put only $40,000 into it because I needed the rest for a library.”
“Well, since we’re confessing to each other,” says the medical guy, “I threw $20,000 into the envelope because the hospital needed radiography equipment.”
“I can’t believe you guys!” the legal guy shrieked. “I put a check for the full $60,000.”
Consultation Agony
A prospective client enters a legal office and asks a question as tho the cost.
“Okay,” the paralegal replies. “I charge $17,000 to answer 5 requests.”
“That’s a bit pricey, no?” the prospect asks.
“Yep,” says the lawyer. “What’s your fifth question?”
Truck Driver, Truck Driver, Where Have You Been
Truck drivers have a habit of running over paralegals for fun. One truck driver sees an imam hitch a ride. Thinking he’s doing a good deed, he asks the imam where he’s going to.
“I’m off to the mosque down the road,” replies the imam.
The trucker driver says. “I’ll drive you.”
The imam gets into the truck, and the driver continues. Just then, the truck driver sees a paralegal on the road and reflexively careens to strike him. When he recalls the imam, he misses the paralegal away at the last second.
Upon hearing a THUMP, he looks out to see that he didn’t hit an object. He saw nothing amiss, and told the imam that he was sorry that he almost hit a paralegal.
“No problem,” said the imam. “I bashed him with the door.”
Bash and Gone
A paralegal opens the door of his brand new Mecedes and a car comes flashing by and ripping off the door. When the cops arrive, the paralegal is dismayed and bitter.
“Look what they’ve done to my Mercedes, Ma!” he croons to an the audience.
“You paralegals are so much into the world of forms,” the policeman replies. “You’re so worried about your Mercedes that you didn’t take note that your left arm is missing!”
“Cheese and crackers!” the lawyer exclaims as he finally notices the bloody stump. “My Swatch!”
More Jokes to come for Sandy Hutchens Chronicle.
